dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
He uses pillows to masturbate.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
The air taste purple.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
