she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
