I'm gonna have a badass scar
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
