I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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