They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
