By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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