So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
