Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
