benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
