at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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