sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
