Its about making memories worth repressing
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
