Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Well I just put wine in my tea
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
