Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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