maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
We were destined to go to rehab together
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
