YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
