I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... ๐ฏ๐๐๐
Do I even want to know?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, thereโs still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
