i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
