I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
