she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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