I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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