im having a threesome with these popsicles
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
