Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Randomize
