We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
