IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
