I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I'm passing your future prison.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
