do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
