remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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