How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
