i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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