you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
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