Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Drake has all the answers
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
