He kissed a someone with a penis
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
