There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
