forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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