We should be called the Road Head Warriors
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
