We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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