I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
