hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
lets start a swedish sibling band together
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
