I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
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