I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
