I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
