I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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