Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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