Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
my poor anus
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
