Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
