awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
tonight lets celebrate not being married
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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