tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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