She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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