this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
