you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
