As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
