Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
