I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Randomize
