its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
