and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
