Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
